dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
