Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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