you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I'm really busy with my period
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