He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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