I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
