Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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