I cockslap morals
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
