NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
