The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
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