So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
