dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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