im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
