what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
