Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
