Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
The Olympian is in my bed
Randomize
