North Korea, Best Korea!
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
