Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
