you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
