$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
please don't ironically join a cult
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