That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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