Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
He passed out mid-signature
17 year olds will be the death of me.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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