That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
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