You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
