Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
She bit a glass in half.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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