Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
