That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
