It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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