Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
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