Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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