seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
