I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
