I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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