was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Alive.
So much puke
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize