he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
