By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
