I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
