maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize
