i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
