My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
so much tequila, so little girl.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
