laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
