Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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