end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
