...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
