Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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