Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
