I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
