It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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