He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
