why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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