My first STD was from a foam party
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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