on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
