I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
